3 December 2012
Celebrity roundup: Chris Browns twitter war, Lindsay Lohans arrest
Just a friendly reminder that Chris Brown is so, so terrible Sometimes these celebrity roundups just seem to focus on the same awful celebrities, but it’s not my fault the same awful celebrities constantly screw up, often via Twitter. For instance, Chris Brown. If you haven’t heard about Chris Brown’s Twitter war with writer/comedian Jenny Johnson, it’s honestly way too appallingly vulgar for me to repeat any of it, lest my mother march up here and wash my mouth out with soap. Luckily Buzzfeed gathered the back-and-forth exchanges so I didn’t have to. Here they are; I’ll wait. ….Right? I mean, really. Jenny Johnson did start it, after Chris Brown posted a picture of himself with a comment about how he looks old for 23. But clearly it doesn’t take much to set off Chris Brown, something that can be said about most ragingly insane people. Also, his very last tweet before thankfully deleting his account was “Just ask Rihanna if she mad??????” …Is that supposed to be some kind of symbolism? A metaphor of sorts? Nah, he’s just insane and quite obnoxious. And for some reason, the whole thing doesn’t end there. Jenny Johnson has now been receiving numerous death threats from “Team Breezy” (barf) because, I don’t know, crazy people like to defend other crazy people. And this is why Chris Brown and his fans should just go away. They’re making the rest of us feel both annoyed and very frightened.
Surprise, Lindsay Lohan was arrested.
No really. Honestly. As long as Chris Brown is offending women, Lindsay Lohan will be gathering mugshots. It’s just how the universe works, I guess. At this point, the number of times Lindsay has been arrested has surpassed the number of films she’s starred in, lol. She literally can’t even say she has a career in acting anymore because she is a professional criminal. And this week, after her Lifetime movie Liz & Dick lived up to everyone’s very, very low expectations, she took some of her frustration out on a woman’s face at New York City’s Club Avenue. But I’m sure there was some distinct reason that led to Lindsay assaulting a stranger at 4 am? What? No, you say? Yeah it turns out no. The two were seated in booths near each other, some words were exchanged, and then Lindsay punched her. Then she got arrested while shouting “Are you kidding me?” Really, I think I’m the one who should be asking you that, Lindsay. She was charged with a 3rd degree misdemeanor, on top of her pending charge for lying to the cops back in June. Don’t worry about her future in prison, though, because despite being arrested on 16 separate occasions, she’s never actually been punished, thanks to lots of bail money, probation that she violates anyway, and house arrests that are really just whatever. If you truly do not have anything to do on this Friday afternoon, take a trip down memory lane with E!’s history of Lindsay’s career as a criminal.
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