30 January 2012
What Demi Moore, Heidi Klum and Other Celebrities Really Mean
When I was a reporter for magazines like People and Us Weekly, I quickly learned how to decode celeb speak.
For instance, if a celebrity (through their publicist, of course) said they were exhausted, it meant they were addicted to painkillers. If they admitted they were addicted to pain killers, it meant they had a cocaine and alcohol problem. If they admitted to having a problem with cocaine and booze, it meant they were stone cold junkies—shooting heroin and smoking crack in a back alleyway. If a celebrity became known for shooting heroin and smoking crack, it was because they were dead. Their story became a cautionary tale for all young Hollywood, many who didn't yet have a problem with heroin or crack, but who were suddenly seeking treatment for exhaustion.
Earlier this week, reports surfaced that Demi Moore was seeking treatment for exhaustion issues. What this really means is that Demi's spin controllers think the public is moronic.
First of all, why in God's name would a celebrity ever be exhausted? They have handlers, housekeepers, maids, cooks, nannies, personal shoppers. They even have people who hold umbrellas for them—when it's not raining!
The exhaustion claim is annoying because it's an insult to people who cook their own meals, raise their own kids, work a few jobs and, to top it all off, must carry their own umbrellas. Talk to the single working mom with a few kids about exhaustion. Ask the dad holding down three jobs what it's like to be tired.
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